So here is that tough, polarizing update that will probably make people see red. Because this update covers how we only stayed at home for ten weeks (not ten plus months) and ended up with a mild case of Covid earlier this year.
Now, to be fair, we didn’t just ignore protocols. We weren’t hosting pandemic parties or licking doorknobs — we played by the extreme pandemic rules for about ten weeks. We didn’t go anywhere, or see anybody, or do anything. We had all our groceries delivered, did a bunch of DIY projects around the house, and played an unhealthy amount of Ticket to Ride while on Zoom with our friends. And yes, I even tried my hand at a windowsill garden and homemade bread. At first it was all fine, back when it was “two weeks to flatten the curve.” We figured we could do anything for two weeks, so we treated it like a staycation. We spent a lot of quality time together and got a lot done. But then two weeks turned into a month, and a month turned into two, and there was no sign of the stay at home order ever ending, and it stopped being fine and the isolation started getting to us.
Let’s just be honest here and admit that it’s not good for your mental health being stuck inside for months on end with only one other person. No matter how great your relationship is, no matter how nice your house is, no matter how many ways you have to pass the time, it’s going to take a mental toll. I am fortunate to live in a stunning home with plenty of things to do — and a really blessed marriage. We are both so grateful we had each other in quarantine. That’s what made it bearable for so long. But even though we had each other, that didn’t magically make it healthy to have no other human contact. Humans are designed to be in fellowship and community with one another, and the human psyche needs relational connection that goes deeper than seeing someone’s face in a small box on your laptop screen. And Dave and I are both pretty outgoing, social people, so we really felt it.
After nearly ten weeks of no other human contact, and no real news from the outside world other than the doom and gloom coming from the media, we hit a mental breaking point. We were both depressed, anxious, restless, and exhausted from being scared. So we agreed that enough was enough, and we decided to assume the risk. After those ten weeks, we found a local winery that had reopened, and we emerged from our isolation for brunch. And let me tell you, that simple outing did a world of good. At that point everything was still outdoors and socially distanced and masked, but just having a reason to get dressed in something other than pajamas, and the opportunity to see that there were other people in the world, was really the best medicine for us. We realized that stepping over the threshold of our house wasn’t a death sentence. That other humans were not an automatic threat. And that we could get back to some level of normalcy. So we did.
We started going out for dinners and brunches, taking walks in new areas, going on road trips to get a change of scenery. As soon as the church reopened, we were there — along with many other people that had been missing Christian fellowship just as much as we had. We even went and got much needed haircuts. And now this is where everyone gets all up in arms, so offended and accusing us of not caring for the elderly or being reckless or disobeying the government or whatever else. Not that this will appease anyone, but I would like to mention that we masked where required, washed our hands often, gave people their space, and self quarantined before seeing people if that made them comfortable. I like to think we were cautious and courteous, but not overkill.
Towards the fall of 2020, we were pretty much back to normal life. We were skydiving most weekends, going out with friends, and traveling. It was (and still is) strange for us to see how many people still hadn’t left their homes at that point. Knowing how psychologically wrecked we were after just ten weeks, it’s hard to even fathom doing that for ten plus months.
By the time we finally got the virus, we had been out and about in the world and doing things close to normally for eight or nine months. We didn’t do anything for a week, then went skydiving on a Sunday. Dave started showing symptoms a few days after that. We found out a few other people we jumped with tested positive for Covid — thankfully because we were working from home we didn’t come in contact with anyone after exposure. So we kept ourselves inside and waited for it to get bad. And waited. And waited. And it never got bad. Like I mentioned in my last blog, the worst symptoms were the loss of taste and smell, which lasted just a few days. Besides that we had mild coughs and stuffy noses, just like a cold. We recovered, stayed home the recommended amount of time (plus a couple extra days to be cautious), and then we went back to normal life.
The weird thing though was the sheer number of people (all on social media, of course) who were actually angry that we didn’t get more sick. Like because we decided not to hide in our homes for a year, that means we deserved to die from the virus? It was interesting seeing the hateful reactions. One in particularly stood out to me, because this young man we know in a different state had been self isolated for close to a year, only left the house if he had no other choice, and would double mask and wear a face shield and eye protection and surgical gloves and go through an intense sterilization process after returning home. He got Covid around the same time as us, and he was furious that our symptoms weren’t worse than his, and seemed to blame us that he had gotten Covid, despite living clear across the country. My takeaway was that despite his extreme measures, he still ended up in the same exact situation as us — but he didn’t get the same enjoyment out of life that we did.
I know that everyone’s experience with this virus is different. I’m not saying the way I approached it was right, and everyone else was wrong. But I hope that by reading through my mindset and experience, you can at least understand that it’s not as black and white as some people try to make it out to be. Stepping outside without a mask isn’t going to cause you to drop dead on the spot. Being around an unvaccinated person doesn’t mean you are automatically going to get the virus. Everything in life is a risk/reward balance, and each person has to decide if it’s worth it to stay in, or worth it to go out. We decided the threat did not justify the impact on our mental health, and that getting back to real life was worth the risk. If you chose otherwise, that’s okay too. Everybody is unique and handles situations differently. But please, no matter which route you chose, don’t be malicious and wish harm on people that made different personal choices.
Lydia Pert 