The Army – Congratulations, you’re moving again! We already know where you are going and when you have to be there, but we can’t just TELL you that right now. We have to wrap it all up in lots of red tape. We will let you know next month. Or in a few months. Maybe. We honestly might just forget to tell you. We totally understand you can’t get on any housing lists, make plans for your current home, schedule movers, or really do anything to prepare for this cross-country move until you have the RFO. So we will definitely get that to you well before your move. Two weeks in advance should give you plenty of time.
On-Post Housing – The majority of our base homes are rented to civilians, so the wait list for soldiers and their families is about 13 months — give or take a year. You could get lucky and a house randomly becomes available after a few weeks, or you could be waiting 2+ years. Good luck planning accordingly. If you choose to wait for on-post housing, be aware that if you don’t have kids, you only qualify for an outdated 600-square-foot walk-up apartment. But if you get pregnant, you’ll qualify for a recently renovated 2,700-square-foot single-family home. Oh, we forgot to mention: we are going to take your full BAH regardless of the size or quality of the home.
Housing Market – Due to inflation, a house comparable to the one you are leaving will cost approximately $790,000 with 7% interest. But don’t worry: we have plenty of houses within your budget. Take a look at this 1100-square-foot fixer-upper. With just a few adjustments you could probably get running water in the kitchen — plus, the hole in the roof is basically a skylight. What a nice perk! This home is a bargain right now for only $390,000, but act fast, because they already have six offers. Oh, wait, you want to use a VA loan? The sellers will NOT like that, for absolutely no reason at all.
Rental Properties – Oh yeah, I have this great property for you over…oh wait. Somebody just signed the lease. But no worries, I have this other one over here…aaaand it just got leased out. Okay, here we go! I have the perfect property for you. It’s a 2 bedroom townhome, about an hour from the base, and there are no pets allowed whatsoever. The owners Googled the current BAH rates and decided that the property is worth a little more than O6 BAH. Tenants are responsible for all utilities, lawn care, sidewalk maintenance, the security system, HOA fees, trash, recycling, and property taxes. Sound good? Let’s get you to sign the lease totally sight unseen…
Base Hotel – You can only book one week at a time, and if you have pets, you can’t stay in any rooms with kitchenettes. But don’t worry, plenty of people are able to go for months at a time with nothing but a mini fridge and a microwave. You’ll be fine! You have plenty of space here. What more do you need than a double bed, a shower that leaks, and a dirty window overlooking the parking lot? It’s totally worth the full BAH we are going to take from you.
Airbnb – You are absolutely welcome to stay here for $200 per night plus $100 in taxes and fees per night and a $250 cleaning fee per week — but make sure to clean up after yourself because there will be a white glove inspection every three days. Be sure to purchase cleaning supplies because we expect everything to be left in a far better state than it was when we turned it over to you. We don’t allow pets so you’ll have to figure out something else for any furry family members.
The Army (Again) – Look, you guys have to be here when we say. I mean, we don’t actually need you to do anything here, we could be flexible. But we won’t. So you have to be here. It doesn’t matter if you can’t find housing. BAH for your rank is totally fine, we don’t understand why you are having a hard time finding safe, clean housing within an hour of base for less than $900 per month. After all, we did give you two whole weeks’ notice on this move. This really sounds like a ‘you problem.’ Do better, soldier.
Lydia Pert 