It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

I don’t pay much attention to celebrity news, but the Meghan Markle situation really struck a chord with me. In a recent documentary, she allowed herself to be vulnerable, and opened up by saying: “Not many people have asked if I’m okay.”

Say what you want about her timing, but what it really boils down to is a first-time mother clearly dealing with something, asking for people to give her an inch of grace. But rather than rally around her, it seems the whole world has gone on a witch hunt. “Oh look, a wealthy, pretty girl is struggling: let’s destroy her for having human feelings! How dare she!”

A particularly ignorant, cruel, compassionless talk show host said something along the lines of “nobody feels sorry for you, you knew what you were signing up for.” Wow. Shame on your Wendy Williams. Reading what Wendy said hit me hard in the gut —because as a military spouse I hear that ALL THE TIME. I’m not allowed to be lonely, scared, or anxious because I “signed up for it.” And apparently, because Meghan married a prince, that means she signed away her right to feel hurt, depressed, or isolated.

Please tell me you see how wrong that is. Just because someone had a general idea of what their hardships might look like doesn’t magically make those hardships any easier to face. Just because someone’s life looks good from the outside doesn’t mean everything is perfect on the inside. And no level of wealth, fame, or influence can make someone immune to depression or anxiety.

I know Meghan will never read this, but I still want to say: I do feel sorry for you. I do hope you are okay. If you aren’t, I hope you are able to get the help you need to start feeling better. And I truly hope there is someone in your life expressing that to you as well. Because no matter if you “signed up for it” or not, nobody should have to go through life feeling alone.

And I hope that anyone who does read this will take it to heart, and try approaching other people with compassion and empathy — regardless of wealth or status. Perception isn’t always reality, so don’t assume someone’s life is perfect just because it looks that way from a distance. Ask people if they are okay, and let them answer honestly.  Stop telling people “it could be worse.” Of course it could be worse — but that doesn’t make it any better. And if you are currently going through something, remember that it’s okay to not be okay…no matter who you are.

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