If you have been on the internet at all over the last few days, you have probably seen blogs/videos/captions/memes slamming Chelsea Handler for a TikTok she put together titled “Day In The Life Of A Childless Woman.” Pretty much every single right-wing entity has jumped on the bandwagon of mocking her — not just for the TikTok, but for her choice not to have children.
Matt Walsh from the Daily Wire wrote, “Nothing more pathetic than the coping done by a childless woman pushing 50. She could have had kids and still be doing basically whatever she wants with her life today. Kids aren’t toddlers forever. She could have had her ‘freedom’ and a family. Instead, she’ll die alone.”
The Babylon Bee put out a video spoof captioned, “A day in the life of a childless woman who is NOT AT ALL MISERABLE.” And the video was pretty much a woman drinking herself to death and getting bullied at work, then returning home to her cats and microwave dinner.
Ben Shapiro, also from the Daily Wire, shared that he believes childless women (like Chelsea Handler) are deeply unhappy, and the only way for them to be happy is to go out and start having kids right away.
Look, Chelsea Handler isn’t my cup of tea either. Her jokes are very contrived, she is awkwardly raunchy, way over the top, and her comedic timing is always off. But even though most of what she does is just icky, not *everything* she says or does is worthy of mockery. But it seems like people, regardless of whether they are on the right or on the left, will find a way to take issue with even the most mundane things, as long as it’s said by someone they don’t like.
That is obviously not a logical way to go through life. A broken clock is right twice a day, and even the most horrible, annoying, rude, stupid people on the planet will occasionally have good ideas or hold accurate beliefs — or do things that are just ordinary. And if you’re gonna get offended over things that are not even offensive, just because you dislike the person saying them, you’re in for a bad time.
Which brings me back (the long way) to Chelsea’s TikTok, which everyone on the right is losing their collective minds over. “Day In The Life Of A Childless Woman.” Look: I saw the skit. It sucked. Like most things Chelsea Handler puts out, it’s cringey, unnecessarily raunchy, lacking in energy, and too over the top to actually be funny or relatable. Stylistically it reminded me of an R rated version of the Babylon Bee. Yeah. I went there.
So fine. Feel free to point out that she’s not funny. But all these people are going way too far by attacking her (and by default, a lot of other women) for choosing not to have kids.
Believe it or not, it is possible to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled without ever having children. Just like it’s possible to be anxious, lonely, and unfulfilled even after having kids. The key to happiness isn’t in having or not having kids. There’s a whooooole lot of different variables that go into life, not just whether you’ve reproduced or not.
I know a lot of people that are really struggling with being parents. They are stressed out, sleep deprived, and money is tight. They miss having quality time with their significant other. They wish they could travel, and have more hobbies, and be more spontaneous. And things are just really hard, and they have a lot of regret.
On the other hand, I also have friends that desperately wanted children, but were unable to conceive — so instead, they put a ton of effort into building up their marriage, and they are some of the most content, joyful people I know. They have embraced their childfree life, and wouldn’t change that now even if they could.
Then of course we all know people that absolutely thrive as parents, and their kids are their sun, moon, and stars. And I’m sure we also know single, child-free people that regret not starting a family when they could.
My point here is there is no one situation that will properly fit every single person. Some people are going to love being parents. Some aren’t. Some people will build really fulfilling lives on their own. Other’s wont. But acting like reproducing is the highest and only purpose is ridiculous. Preaching that children are the key to happiness is downright dangerous.
Having kids adds a lot of challenges to the family dynamic. For most people, the challenges are worth it. For some people, it will break them. Because children do not make life easier. They make life much more difficult, and you need to be ready for that. If you think that getting pregnant will cure all your problems, you’re in for a bad time.
If you’re having money problems, kids are not going to be the key to financial freedom. They are going to cause more of a strain on your bank account.
If you and your spouse are fighting all the time, kids aren’t going to fix your marriage. They are just going to give you more reasons to fight.
If you are getting bored, kids aren’t going to provide endless entertainment. You’re still going to be bored — possibly even more so for a while.
So all these people advocating for everybody to have kids oR eLsE yOu WoNt Be HaPpY really need to sit down and shut up. Because not everybody is going to find happiness in having kids. Some people straight up shouldn’t have kids. If you’re one missed bill away from bankruptcy, or your marriage is falling apart, or you have no friends or hobbies…maybe you should get those things in order before adding another layer of complexity to your life.
A lot of my friends and family members are parents (or will soon be parents) and the majority of them really love their lives, and love being parents. But they are also sentient enough to know that even though I’ve made different life choices, I also really love my life. And I’m grateful my loved ones haven’t bought into the propaganda that all childless women are secretly miserable — because that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s ridiculous and arrogant to assume that somebody is miserable just because their life looks different from yours.
So…I’m not really even sure how to wrap this up. Except that I’m so happy my friends are happy with their life choices. And I know they are happy for me as well. And if you feel called to be a parent, then good for you. And if you’re like me and never felt that maternal instinct, I promise you’re going to be just fine if you choose not to have kids — regardless of what the idiots at the Daily Wire and Babylon Bee say.
One thought on “The Childfree Woman Witch Hunt”
The right is spending so much air time on this. They’re doubling down on attacking women. That seems to be a favorite past time of theirs now.
You know what they could be using their air time to talk about instead? The CDC’s study that just came out about teenage girls and how much they’re struggling lately. I mean, why would they be struggling? Don’t they know they just need to have kids and their lives will be bliss?